Decorating

I need a real house and a couch.

Quiet, please.

Shhhhhhh Daddy!  You're destroying my reading.

Super Bowl Half Time Inpiration

Someday when I go onstage, I'm going to talk about cavities.

Injury or Anatomy?

Oh, my butt cracked!

Dad's Greatest Compliment...Ever!

Your stories always open my mind.

6 Year Old Date Protocol

Well, we go in one of those big, long black cars.

A limousine?

Yep.  And then we go out to eat and talk about politics.  And we bring along dogs and bears.

Artist

My brain has really good designs.

Chapped or Not

Mom: My lips are dry and owie.

Poppy: My lips are wet and fine.

In Tune

I'm going to lose it in a minute because I've already lost half of it.

Wedgie

Bad panties!

Good Advice

Mom: I'm grouchy.

Poppy: You can't be grouchy when you are still in bed.

Why?

Because it's so comfortable.

(5 minutes later)

I'm still grouchy.

Sometimes when I'm grouchy I just pout for a minute. I fold my arms and pout and then I usually feel better.

(picture me pouting as directed)

Very good mommy. Do you feel better now?

I actually do. Thanks.

Ummm

Look Mom, I'm a hooker. I mean a cooker.

(Thank God!)

Daddy's Hairy Chest

I like your fur.  You're an animal.

Mom's Birthday Wish

Remember what mommy wants for her birthday...
new breasts.
I mean boobs.

(I actually want a new bra, but that's an idea.)

Birthday Plans

What, do you want to go somewhere and talk to adults?

Because that's not going to happen.

(I suggested a bike ride to a local park so she could play.)