I'm very complicated. Do you know what that means?

Crabby. It means crabby.

My phone just ranged. It's my husband.

Hello? Hi, it's Poppy. Yes, husband?

Bedtime Ritual

Snuggle in tight...as we always say.

Mama, can you eat this? You see, it's a little bit tricky to eat.

Hello Kitty is born

(Pretend telephone conversation)
Mom: Hello?
Poppy: Hi. I have a baby.
Mom: Oh? What is your baby's name?
Poppy: Hello Kitty and she is already out of my vagina.

I'm so hungry,
I've got the cheesy blues.

Calerpittar

Poppy: I'm going to drive the boat.

Mama: Grandpa's in charge of that. You're going to have to ask him.

Poppy: Don't talk down to me!

Mistaken Identity

Who is that on the TV?

Is that God?

(I was going for Captain Jack Sparrow, but it's hard to argue her point.)

Mama, can we go swimming?
Not today. The water is too cold.
Well, then I'm going to tell on you.
Ok.
I need help with the door so I can go tell on you.
Mama, can you please help me open the door?
Sure.

This is a rooster.
This is his foot.
This is his penis.
But then someone said that chickens don't have penises so I cut it off.
This is her tummy...

Boys wear belts and girls wear skirts.

I'm a serious little kid.
Who told you that?
No one. I figured it out of my imagination.

I'm not ready to talk yet, you just go ahead and wait.

I like being beautiful.

Hello Police?
All the dogs and cats are dead!?!

My name isn't honey.
Oh, what is it then?
I'm the boss, a mom and a mother.

Runny Nose Solution

I put a noodle in my nose.
Why did you put a noodle in your nose?
Because I wanted the boogies to stop.
(I help her blow the noodle out of her nose.)
Do you remember when you put the button in your nose?
Yep, that hurt.

(Is something not connecting here? After all, we went to the ER to have the button removed for a whopping $800. The hospital considered it surgery because they entered an orifice)

Apology in Triplicate

Excuse me, I tooted.
Excuse me, I tooted.
Excuse me, I tooted.

Prophesy

God is going to come back soon, he's going to stay at a hotel for ever and ever and ever. He's not going to come to our house.