Daddy: "This table needs to be cleared off."

Poppy: "And I'm going to watch you do that."

I just heard about that in my ear.

Typical dad

Poppy: "Ow, my back." Who am I?
Dad: Me?
Poppy: You!

(during role-play Poppy's stuffed lambie is found lying on the ground)

*Gasp* "She's dead! We have to take her to the office and fix her blood."

Hate

This morning we were having a discussion about the word hate. I said that I didn't like that word and then Poppy said...

"God lets us say it."

Are you going to have another baby?
It looks like you are...it kinda looks like you are.

New Shoes

(While looking in Nana's trunk early this summer Poppy said the following.)

What a mess. Damn it! Something's really wrong.

Daddy's Room

I love my new purse. It makes me wild and certified.

I'm too sad to be a kid today.

Sophie

My Seatmate

I'm very complicated. Do you know what that means?

Crabby. It means crabby.

My phone just ranged. It's my husband.

Hello? Hi, it's Poppy. Yes, husband?

Bedtime Ritual

Snuggle in tight...as we always say.

Hello?

My Ouchie

Mama, can you eat this? You see, it's a little bit tricky to eat.

Hello Kitty is born

(Pretend telephone conversation)
Mom: Hello?
Poppy: Hi. I have a baby.
Mom: Oh? What is your baby's name?
Poppy: Hello Kitty and she is already out of my vagina.

I'm so hungry,
I've got the cheesy blues.

Last Night's Movie Popcorn

Calerpittar

Poppy: I'm going to drive the boat.

Mama: Grandpa's in charge of that. You're going to have to ask him.

Poppy: Don't talk down to me!

Bike Guy

Mom

Mistaken Identity

Who is that on the TV?

Is that God?

(I was going for Captain Jack Sparrow, but it's hard to argue her point.)

Mama, can we go swimming?
Not today. The water is too cold.
Well, then I'm going to tell on you.
Ok.
I need help with the door so I can go tell on you.
Mama, can you please help me open the door?
Sure.

This is a rooster.
This is his foot.
This is his penis.
But then someone said that chickens don't have penises so I cut it off.
This is her tummy...

Boys wear belts and girls wear skirts.

Go-Go Boots

I was sitting on the potty when I took this.

I'm a serious little kid.
Who told you that?
No one. I figured it out of my imagination.

I'm not ready to talk yet, you just go ahead and wait.

I like being beautiful.

Hello Police?
All the dogs and cats are dead!?!

My name isn't honey.
Oh, what is it then?
I'm the boss, a mom and a mother.

Lamp Base

Like Daughter, Like Mother

I was told by Poppy that I needed to take her photo while she stood "like this" and then she would take one of me "like this". Small price to pay for a cute photo of your daughter.

Spinning Sensation

Runny Nose Solution

I put a noodle in my nose.
Why did you put a noodle in your nose?
Because I wanted the boogies to stop.
(I help her blow the noodle out of her nose.)
Do you remember when you put the button in your nose?
Yep, that hurt.

(Is something not connecting here? After all, we went to the ER to have the button removed for a whopping $800. The hospital considered it surgery because they entered an orifice)

Apology in Triplicate

Excuse me, I tooted.
Excuse me, I tooted.
Excuse me, I tooted.

Prophesy

God is going to come back soon, he's going to stay at a hotel for ever and ever and ever. He's not going to come to our house.

Oh, this is so hopeless.
How come?
Because of all this homework.

Story Time

Which book do you want first, Alvie Eats Soup or Babar?
Alvie, because Babar is for dessert.

Mom's Desk - My Perspective

An Important Tool

Mama, you're ticklish...
(She tickles me and gets no response)
But I'm not a scientist.

Daddy...
My water's spilling.

Sophie's Eye

You're the best mama in the whole, wide world. I love you so much...and I like daddy.