Mama, can we go swimming?
Not today. The water is too cold.
Well, then I'm going to tell on you.
Ok.
I need help with the door so I can go tell on you.
Mama, can you please help me open the door?
Sure.

This is a rooster.
This is his foot.
This is his penis.
But then someone said that chickens don't have penises so I cut it off.
This is her tummy...

Boys wear belts and girls wear skirts.

Go-Go Boots

I was sitting on the potty when I took this.

I'm a serious little kid.
Who told you that?
No one. I figured it out of my imagination.

I'm not ready to talk yet, you just go ahead and wait.

I like being beautiful.

Hello Police?
All the dogs and cats are dead!?!

My name isn't honey.
Oh, what is it then?
I'm the boss, a mom and a mother.

Lamp Base

Like Daughter, Like Mother

I was told by Poppy that I needed to take her photo while she stood "like this" and then she would take one of me "like this". Small price to pay for a cute photo of your daughter.

Spinning Sensation

Runny Nose Solution

I put a noodle in my nose.
Why did you put a noodle in your nose?
Because I wanted the boogies to stop.
(I help her blow the noodle out of her nose.)
Do you remember when you put the button in your nose?
Yep, that hurt.

(Is something not connecting here? After all, we went to the ER to have the button removed for a whopping $800. The hospital considered it surgery because they entered an orifice)

Apology in Triplicate

Excuse me, I tooted.
Excuse me, I tooted.
Excuse me, I tooted.

Prophesy

God is going to come back soon, he's going to stay at a hotel for ever and ever and ever. He's not going to come to our house.

Oh, this is so hopeless.
How come?
Because of all this homework.

Story Time

Which book do you want first, Alvie Eats Soup or Babar?
Alvie, because Babar is for dessert.